Big ball’s hardcore sarcasm…

A (Re-edited) message of eternal salvation…

Dear Sir Miz’ Madam, please excuse our intrusion on your reality but there’s something really important that we need to sell you, sorry, faithfully share with you, something that will affect the rest of your eternity, maybe forever…

Approximately 2000 years ago on a warm holy blessed night with the Hebrew shepherd’s out in the field watching over their kosher flocks 10,000 holy angels began singing to the aforesaid Hebrew shepherds, an invisible temporarily visible holy heavenly choir singing the praises of the omnipotent invisible Abrahamic almighty guy they worked for ~ No dear Sir Miz’ or Madam, we are not from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Bond Trader’s, no, we’re not collecting for any bankrupt Wall St banker’s orphan’s charity, no Siree Bob, we represent an organisation we like to privately call “Almighty God loves you so you’d better just get with the program while that’s still the case, or else” which the almighty invisible guy incorporated in Rome a mere decade after the event we’d like to tell you about now ~ No, yes, no, there’s more to the story but we’ll get around to that, for the moment we’d just like to share our wonderful message, the good news of almightily invisible Abrahamic guy in the sky who…

wants to rescue you from the beast ‘666’…

Anyway, as we’d been saying before you so rudely interrupted us, approximately 2000 years ago some invisible guys representing invisible guy almighty burst out into singing to some clueless uneducated shepherds in the fields at a wonderful event that had just taken place that very night ~ Behold, nine months prior to that without any naughties and without the aid of Joseph Mengele’s advanced in-vitro science a virgin had conceived the very thing they were singing about, she had given birth to the invisible guy in the flesh himself…

No dear Sir Miz Madam or non gender specific other we are not drunk or stoned, we are servants of the invisible guy almighty, fellow servants of the invisible guys doing the singing to the shepherds ~ Yes, well it might sound like a crock but it’s not, obviously we’re not invisible yet ourselves but we will be, eventually we will be, Oh yes, it’s one of the central tenet’s of our faith…

but please, allow us to continue…

No dear Sir Miz Madam or non gender specific other, as we’d said we do ‘NOT’ represent either the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Bond Trader’s or the United States Central Intelligence Agency ‘OR’ the Mormon’s, no…

We represent almighty invisible guy’s one true holy catholic church and we’ve got damn near 2000 years of unbroken history to prove it, now as we were saying, back in those times a child was born, a divine son was given to humanity by almighty invisible Abrahamic guy who was almighty invisible guy and, ‘No we are ‘NOT’ on drugs’ now please, please, no we are not soliciting any donations, not now anyway, now may we continue with our wonderful “GOOD NEWS” before invisible almighty guy becomes wroth and mortally rebukes you…

Better take care dear Sir Miz Madam or other non gender specific other, because of your sins he was already wroth with you the day he got his other self (The devil) to murder himself, his only begotten self mind you, just so he could prove he was almighty as in omnipotent and not just invisible ~ You were guilty of his murder that day because he was punished in your place, he died for your sins, then on the third day he raised himself from death and seated himself on his own right hand far above all principalities dominions powers and all high places, much harder than it might sound to a layman lay woman lay person or lay non gender specific other, what? ~ You heard it all before and want the real story, you promise you won’t get angry, well okay then, it goes like this…

He did get murdered but the rest of it is bullshit ~ It went down like this, while he was on trial some high power Jews from Greece and Rome who’d come to Jerusalem specifically for the event, Solomon’s offspring’s offspring by the way, they got to thinking that seeing as they had themselves a bonafide holy man they might as well fill his body and blood full of endorphins thru torture which is what the whipping scourging and crucifixion does, yes they did do a bit of kabalist butt rape on him prior to his death, well we think it was prior but we’re not allowed to tell you about that, so anyway they did the trial and the whipping scourging and crucifixion, then decided they’d bleed him a little so they could have a nice drink of holy man’s blood chock full of the goodness of Jehovah’s endorphins, they all got high as a kite on that, trouble is they bled him so much they killed him outright doing it ~ Then not wanting to appear greedy nor let a good cadaver go to waste seeing it was an especially high holy day for the religion and all important priests of Jerusalem were there, they got Pontius Pilate to give him the body almost straight away, then they butchered it, roasted it, and ate it, everyone who mattered got a piece, bitter herbs, good wine, the lot…

Then three days later invisible guy resurrected himself…
What, you don’t believe us? ~ Please, you’d better reconsider…
There’s no protection from the devil if you don’t believe…

Well if you won’t believe there’s no hope for you…

“Nature Of The Beast”…

It’s the nature of the beast
to satisfy his every appetite
he’s never worried ’bout the cost
he never worries of he’s wrong or right
and there’s no method to his madness
you watch him step up to the firing line
she’s almost close enough to touch
he feels the heat and reads the danger sign…

And it’s all a game…

it doesn’t matter who plays…

It’s the nature of the beast
to jump into the fire, tell me can’t you feel the heat
see you walking on the wire, at the crossroads of the night
too scared of passion but too lonely to run
nobody wants to lose control
nobody wants to be the careless one
throwing caution to the wind
‘cos making love is like a trial by fire
and though you know you might get burned
you’ve got to go with what your heart desires
between love and pain
it never knows any shame…

It’s the nature of the beast
to jump into the fire
tell me can’t you feel the heat
see you walking on the wire…

And it’s all a game
you never know any shame

It’s the nature of the beast

It’s the way of the beast
I know you’ve had the feeling
and it makes you lose control
and it makes wake up screaming

It’s the nature of the beast…
It’s the nature of the beast…
It’s the nature of the beast…

Nah, only kidding dreary Sir Miz’ Madam or other…
We really represent Jehovah Almighty Soul Wreckers…
Bring us your shit when you’re dead, we’re buying…
You’ll get a really good price, of course you will…
But only if you believe, if you truly believe…

(And those stupid cnut’s in America still believe?)…
(And that’s not all, they believe in Cessna Pilot’s too)…
(And in the lying Freemason’s who sold them the story)…
(Just goes to show there’s still one born every minute)…
(Or over 320+ million born the last 100 or so years)…

Oh yeah, hit this link if you want real truth…

One thought on “Big ball’s hardcore sarcasm…

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